The rocks may melt and the seas may burn

[every_blossom_blooming]

When she finally extricated herself from the couch in Kaz and Inej's apartment, Nina had gone back to her own. She couldn't bring herself to go back to the cabin yet, though she was sure she should do... something. She drifted around her apartment, touching things left behind. There was too much of him here and not enough.

At some point after the sun had gone down, she found herself on the floor with the stupid owl mug that, in all its ridiculousness, had become Geralt's. The tears fell without notice now. She found her phone, vaguely aware that she had all but disappeared from the world since Geralt did. It had been days.

She sent a text to Frank.

Help me. He's gone.

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[onebatch_twobatch]

Frank was there as quickly as he could be.

When he arrived at Nina's apartment, he wasn't quite sure what to say. He didn't know Geralt, really; they'd met in passing at a couple of his times in Nina's apartment, but they'd never really spoken. But Peggy had disappeared from Darrow recently, and Frank was still feeling a little raw from that. It wasn't the same.

He knocked and then tried her door. It was open. He let himself in.

"Nina?"

[every_blossom_blooming]

Nina was still on the floor with the stupid mug, sitting there with her legs crossed and her hand on her belly. She looked up at Frank, eyes raw and hair limp. She hadn't really showered since she realized what was happening. A part of her knew that she needed to do better, but she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so afraid and despondent.

She sniffled when she looked at him, dark eyebrows drawn together. She tried to take a deep breath and hiccuped.

"I don't know what to do."

[onebatch_twobatch]

“Hey,” he said softly. There was no platitude or sentiment that could soothe this. He thought of waking in the hospital; he thought of every waking moment since. It wasn’t quite the same, but a disappearance was a lot like a death.

Slowly, he approached her and sat down next to her. Curtis would have known what to say or do. Frank wasn’t a counselor. He didn’t handle grief well, in himself or others.

[every_blossom_blooming]

Nina huffed a weak, wet laugh.

"I chose the worst person, didn't I?" she said as she looked at him. Tears came again and she just leaned into Frank's shoulder, pushing her face against him. Maybe he didn't know how to handle her grief, but he was here and warm and solid, and right now, that felt like enough.

"How am I supposed to do this alone?"

[onebatch_twobatch]

Frank curled an arm around her shoulder and pet his fingers through her hair. He thought, maybe, this was how Maria might have been any number of times that he had been incommunicado during missions. He remembered how mad she'd be with him whenever he was back, later than expected.

This was different. There was no back from this.

"You're not alone," Frank said softly. "You're not alone, Nina. Hey. You've got a village."

[every_blossom_blooming]

"I know. He was so excited to be a father..."

Nina sniffled and leaned into Frank when he held her. She closed her eyes and wiped at her face to try and pull herself back together. "I'm a mess," she murmured.

[onebatch_twobatch]

There were no tissues or anything nearby, which seemed silly. Nina struck him as he kind of girl who would keep that sort of thing in supply, given the work that she did. Maybe it was just that there was none close at hand.

Frank kept his arms around her and rubbed his fingers at her scalp soothingly.

"You're allowed to be a mess," he said. She didn't need his permission, but sometimes it was good to have it from someone else. He'd had a breakdown on leave once, so bad it had scared the kids, and Maria had said those words to him. It was different. But the words themselves were important.

[every_blossom_blooming]

Nina hiccuped and wiped at her eyes. "Help me up, Frank. I need-- I don't know what I need. But I'm sure it doesn't involve being on the floor with a stupid, empty mug."

She waited until Frank offered her his hands and used him for balance as she got up. She wasn't huge yet, but she was definitely starting to notice her belly getting in the way. For a moment she just leaned into Frank, head against his shoulder.

"Thank you for coming over," she murmured.

[onebatch_twobatch]

"Of course," Frank said, staying close to her as he helped her up and nudged her gently toward the couch instead. It would probably be good to stay down for now, just so she didn't overwhelm herself, but being somewhere a little more comfortable would be better, for sure.

He kissed her forehead. "I'll make you coffee."

[every_blossom_blooming]

"Tea," she corrected with a dry smile. "Inej wants me to drink more tea and less coffee." Nina made a little face, but it seemed the better idea at the moment. Something to calm her down - she didn't quite trust herself to do it on her own just then.

She sat on the couch with Frank's coaxing and ended up hugging a pillow to her chest after she relinquished the owl mug.

"You know it falls on you now to rub my ankles and feet. I don't know many other men that I can just ask for that. And it should be a man, since it took a man to get me pregnant in the first place."

[onebatch_twobatch]

"I don't think Inej is the pregnant one here," Frank pointed out, but he decided to go for tea in the cabinet that he knew Nina kept those things in. Somethings soothing and herbal, that should could have with a lot of honey.

Once he had the kettle on and a couple of bags in the mug, he returned to the couch, plunking down.

"You're in luck," he said gently. "Even if I hadn't missed out on all that stuff, I'd still want to do it. All the guys thought I was crazy for actually liking my wife. I thought it was gross whenever they got weird and all ball-and-chainy about their girlfriends. If they didn't like the girl they were with, they shouldn't be with her.""

[every_blossom_blooming]

She huffed a laugh, but there was at least a little bit of real humor there. She gave Frank a smile when he came back. "Well, that's because you're a real man and not a stupid little boy parading around as one."

Nina had never understood why boys - or men - could act like their girls or their wives were somehow a burden on their lives. Fine, she should find someone better. She'd given dozens of girls the same advice. She tucked herself against Frank and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you," she murmured. "You're getting off kind of easy, you know. I had Sweeney meet me in a bar and insisted he drink most of a bottle of alcohol for me."

[onebatch_twobatch]

"Well, if you need any other drinking proxies, I'm happy to do that too," Frank said. He knew, obliquely, who Sweeney was. They'd never met, but he'd seen him around. It was hard to miss him.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and held her close. Losing people in Darrow was perhaps one of the worst things about this place.

"Maria kept a list," he said softly, "of all the reasons she wanted to drink while she was pregnant. And Billy or I--or both of us--had to drink for each of 'em, every time we had a leave day while we were on deployment. We were very good drinking proxies."

[every_blossom_blooming]

"You're a darling," she murmured. Nina hiccuped another little laugh and shook her head. "You'd be drinking for ages at this rate. The father of my child just disappeared, my feet hurt, my back is starting to ache, my breasts are sore and too big, my clothes don't fit anymore..."

She closed her eyes and a small little smile tugged her mouth. "How often were you on her list?"

[onebatch_twobatch]

"All the time," Frank assured. Him, Billy, his CO, the entire middle east, his son. He drank for it all so that Maria wouldn't, and he did it happily because it was what Maria needed of him when he was far away from her.

And he can do it all over again, whatever she needs, for Nina.

"It's a good thing you have a tailor, then," Frank said gently, "to help with the clothes, at least."

[every_blossom_blooming]

"Krem's already taken care of it, actually, because he's sweet and intuitive that way. And he wants me to model for him." She rolled her eyes but smiled all the same. "I suppose I should actually start wearing them now. It's time to admit it to myself that my clothes just don't fit like they used to."

[onebatch_twobatch]

"It's only going to get more uncomfortable to keep wearing your standard clothes," Frank assured. He remembered letters and phone calls from Maria, bemoaning not fitting into her favorite jeans or whatever else. She hadn't had someone to custom make a wardrobe and alter it ad nauseum.

He rubbed the back of her neck, then got up to retrieve the tea. It ought to be steeped by now--probably oversteeped. He wasn't good with tea, just coffee.

[every_blossom_blooming]

Nina accepts her tea and holds it close like she might absorb the warmth.

"I haven't gone to find out if it's a girl or a boy," she admitted. "The doctor said I was far enough along, if I wanted to know. I can't decide if I want it to be a surprise or not."

[onebatch_twobatch]

"You know, you can go to get a wellness check, and just never find out until you give birth," Frank said. He didn't know if Nina, with all her power, needed to do wellness checks. She could probably feel if everything was alright with the baby. Still, sometimes technology could be an asset. Especially when she was under more stress than normal, it was nice to hand some control over to other professionals.

"Or, take someone with you, and they can know it. But I feel like you might try to wheedle it out of them. Little miss spy."

[every_blossom_blooming]

"I know, the nurse asked me last time she checked on me if I wanted to know," she said with a sigh. She'd stared at the ceiling as the woman did the sonogram, assuring her at the baby had all of its little fingers and toes. Nina could tell that the child was healthy, but that was all. It was nice to hear from someone else that all was going well.

"Maybe you'll have to come with me next time. Or Inej. I wonder if Geralt would have wanted to know... seemed rather traditional, maybe he would've preferred it to just be a surprise."

[onebatch_twobatch]

"If you want me to come along, I will absolutely come along," Frank assured. He thought Nina's friend Inej might be a better choice, if only because she was someone Nina had known for years, someone that meant something to Nina outside of the context of Darrow.

He sipped the tea he'd brought over for himself.

"I think it's more important that you do what's right for you," he said softly. "Not to erase his presence. But because you're the one that's here, you're the one making the choices. I hate to keep comparing things to me and Maria, but you know--she had to make those choices because I just wasn't there. If she wanted to know if Frankie and Lisa were a boy or girl, if she was going to tell me, when, all that stuff. Because she was the one that was there, going through it. I don't know how different it would have been if I was there."

[every_blossom_blooming]

Nina huffed a weak laugh. "It wouldn't have been terribly different, I think, because hearing you talk, I know exactly who the boss was in your relationship and it wasn't you," she teased him.

She sighed and ran her hand over her belly. Her eyes widened briefly and she reached out to grab one of Frank's hands. She put it where her hand had been a moment ago, then moved it a little.

"Can you feel it?"

She felt the flutter inside her as the baby moved, then something a little sharper as it kicked.

"Right there?"

[onebatch_twobatch]

It took a moment of shifting. She'd done it once before, but he'd been a little hungover and a lot flustered at being caught out with Guy in his bed, the awkwardness of that whole morning. It was better this time, this quiet moment. He shifted his hand under hers and smiled gently.

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "Yeah, I feel it."

[every_blossom_blooming]

Nina just smiled down at her hand covering his covering the baby. She ignores the tears trying to well up. Geralt liked feeling the baby move. More than once he'd rested his head there and told her about the baby's heartbeat and what he could smell. Maybe someone else would've found that off-putting, but Nina liked it.

She took a shivering breath and let it go slowly.

"Oh, I might recruit you for a hand to hold when I actually have to give birth. I might break Inej's and Kaz won't let me touch him."

[onebatch_twobatch]

"I think Inej can take the grip," Frank assured, but only because he was pretty sure that if she wasn't allowed in that birthing suite she would break her way in. He'd met the girl after all, even if only in passing. She could take more than she looked like she ought to be able to.

"I'd be honored," he said, and leaned over to kiss her forehead.