[Sometime in July] For Greta

[every_blossom_blooming]

Nina didn't know what to do. Inej was busy, and Nina couldn't bring herself to go to the Crow Club and say anything in front of Kaz. And, maybe, some part of her was almost afraid of how her best friend might react. Inej hadn't exactly had a good opinion of Geralt less than a year ago, and though by the fall things had seemed better between them, she just--

She just needed to talk to someone. Maybe someone that was not so tangled up in her personal relationships. She found herself on her way to Greta's house before she was thinking too hard about anything at all.

When she got to the door, she stood there for a long moment before she could finally bring herself to knock.

Comments

[andhiswife]

Right, that probably does call for an 'oh, dear.' But what ends up happening is Greta tsking in a motherly fashion and scooting her chair around until she's close enough to rest a hand on Nina's arm. She suspects she's the first person Nina's told of this, and the last thing she wants is for the poor girl to regret speaking of it to anyone at all.

"It did," she echoes. And it would be easy to insist that that means something, and that she shouldn't be so quick to dismiss that. But this is Darrow, not the Village, and it's about Nina, not her.

She hesitates for a moment, not wanting to overstep her bounds. But all she's really doing is repeating what Nina's already as much as said, herself. "Would you want to keep it, then, if Geralt is, er... amenable?"

He might normally be sterile, but Greta doesn't know the man -- not beyond what she's gathered from talking with Nina. Maybe he'd welcome this, if he knew. A Curse unexpectedly lifted.

[every_blossom_blooming]

Nina was grateful for Greta's touch and gave her a small smile to show it. Her other hand slid slowly over her abdomen as she considered her next answer.

"I'm young," she said, as if it weren't obvious. "But I've known girls younger than me that are already married." Even as she said it, Nina felt like that had nothing to do with anything. So what if girls younger than her were capable of having children? That didn't always mean it was a good idea.

You're a silly girl, snapped a voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like Zoya Nazyalensky.

"I think I would keep it, if Geralt wants to. I don't know if I could do it alone, but if I don't have to... why not?"

[andhiswife]

Greta nods along, agreeing easily on both counts. Nina isn't so young that it would be dangerous for her -- or no more dangerous than it is for anyone. She certainly looks as if she could handle it, physically speaking. And while she can seem a bit flighty, she has an underlying sensibility that Greta can see clearly enough.

She could make a go of it, if she wanted to. Maybe she didn't plan for this, hasn't ached for it, but Greta can't shake the feeling that it would be altogether too rich for her to suggest that someone ought to refrain from childbearing.

"You wouldn't have to do it alone in any case," she points out, patting Nina's arm for emphasis. There are people she can turn to besides Geralt, Greta among them. "Though it is nice to have the father on board." It's hard not to sound a little wistful on that front, in spite of how long it's been -- and what a satisfactory father figure Thomas is turning out to be. But her bitter familiarity with the frustration of not having spousal support just makes her that much more determined to see that Nina doesn't suffer on that front, whether Geralt steps up or not.

[every_blossom_blooming]

"I do take comfort in that," she admitted. "Knowing that I'm not all alone." Even if she was, Nina thought she could make a go of it. It would be lonely, but she was strong - stronger than she think most people gave her credit for. But being underestimated was fine with her.

"Sometimes I barely remember my own mother," she said as she picked up her tea again and cradled the mug. "I spent so much of my life in the Little Palace, it's hard to remember a life before that. I was raised by teachers and older students."

[andhiswife]

Well, if that isn't painfully familiar. Sometimes Greta feels absurdly lucky, just for having good, kind parents who didn't die well before their time. Nearly everyone else she can't think of hasn't been so fortunate. Either their parents were lost, or they were terrible -- or both, in some cases.

"Did they raise you well?" she asks, because that, she thinks, matters more than who was doing the raising. "I mean--you've obviously turned out well enough," she adds with a dismissive flap of her hand.

[every_blossom_blooming]

"Well, I think I'm the person I am because of my time there," she said with a shrug. "It was hard. Zoya made for a difficult critic, but." Nina shrugged and sank back with a little huff of breath.

"She'd have something to say about all this, I'm sure. Mostly about how silly I've been and how could I let this happen, it's an embarrassment to my training, et cetera."

[andhiswife]

"Forget her, then," Greta says, looking thoroughly unimpressed. Then, her expression softening, she adds, "You don't have to lead by their example. You could be the sort of parent a child ought to have."

It's not the sort of advice she'd offer anyone, simply because it's open to rather broad interpretation. But Nina seems a sensible young woman, however she was brought up.

[every_blossom_blooming]

Nina was quiet for a moment and she drank her tea.

"I don't like not being able to predict things. Some things. I have absolutely no idea how Geralt is going to react and this one time, I wish I did. This is an impossible thing. And when impossible things happen, it's either wonderful or terrible. I don't think there's anything in between."

[andhiswife]

Privately, Greta can't help but think Nina's underestimating the banality of the impossible. The word never meant much back home; few things were impossible when there were Giants in the sky and magic growing in your neighbor's garden.

Darrow is different, true, but not by much. The city routinely throws ostensible impossibilities at them. This is just another one to add to the pile.

Though it is rather more personal than most impossibilities.

"There's an awful lot of impossible here," she points out, gently. "Enough that it doesn't have to be a disaster or a miracle." She reaches over to give Nina's shoulder an encouraging rub. "However he takes it, you know you're always welcome here."